Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Stone Soup

Protect your heart, Los Angeles. 

In a sea of self-saturating tongues, leaking information via the art of a trail of goodies for hungry followers (those who simply don't want to miss out!), some of us normal ones sit here. We sit and absorb the carbon dioxide of the oh-so-busy-and-verbose until we realize we are leaning against a hollow tree that faces only one direction. And oh, there is an entire forest of them that stretches past Calabasas and even into Long Beach.

In La La, it is odd and often that we update each other about our lives and careers.  Though I normally note that this other person is smoothly scrambling to paint their life as extremely busy - terribly important being implied but not overtly stated. Then, between listening and making direct eye contact (which is as rare as an albino snake crawling on your head), I notice that this person has absolutely no connection to these "current events"; they are sans emotion. There is feigned excitement, expressed through the rapidity of words and not at all in the iris. A kind of flatness - like a beautiful sound hitting a dull acoustic-less corner - overwhelms the conversation turning their news into noise.  The radio becomes static when you realize you are pulling into an underground lot, does it not? This isn't too dissimilar. Like most industry folks out here, they live little in the real world. They create their own world. And it is your choice to get sucked in or not. It is perfectly okay to poke your head in, to take a tour, but most likely you will hit a dead end in ten minutes or less.

More notes later on the tours that last for days and even weeks - aka meeting a true Hollywood Minotaur and then sniffing them out in their dark maze, simultaneously praying to leave unscathed.

But when walking away from these more everyday interactions, I wonder if what I'm doing is right or if it is productive. Do I have to fake the level of productivity in my life? What if reading Hedda Gabler every day IS my productivity? I'm not filming anything RIGHT right now. I haven't been on a commercial audition in a month, God knows why (untrue as of yesterday!). Should I be scratching away at the surface like an impatient teenager or gnawing like a mindless rat? I'm also not inflating the truth of my life to sound more desirable than it is.  But isn't that then "my problem"? Shouldn't I be talking myself up constantly like I've got the golden ticket and life is peachy keen with whip cream and I'm doing this and that and ABOUT do this and that and it's amazing and wow and can you believe it? Sure you can its no big deal. Just doing what I love (humble shrug) (cell phone rings) Hello? Yeah gimme a red camera and I like four shots in my Venti. 

Beware the silver-tongued (also the golden, bronzed and even the scrap metalled). More importantly, trust those who seek the truth, doubt those who say they've found it.  Living in Los Angeles - nevermind dating - but living here becomes truly a quest for trustworthy individuals, GOOD people, and purer hearts.  They are here somewhere - but like a pig to truffles, you've got to learn to sniff them out. And if you REALLY want to find the most excellent of the lot, this pig has got to go and get a Masters in Sociology so that he can identify levels of transparency with a scientific snout.

I remain persistent, but I don't remain without eggshells in every professional relationship I have.  A lot of risk comes in HOW we interact with people and it is driven by my own need for knowledge and also passage into the next level of the game. Can I play that game without getting my hands dirty? That's what gloves are for.

Hey, I didn't move here without first evaluating how grounded I am.  I knew this town would shake things up but, like a snow globe, I'm still exactly who I am after these experiences. I am in control of myself. I do know that I won't be spouting off nonsense like an old garden hose, but I am consciously learning to speak positively of the things that ARE churning in my industry pot. Without giving away too many ingredients, mind you.

I can say with confidence that most of what people are stirring these days is nothing more than Stone Soup.

1 comment:

  1. Love it. We're all guilty of this at times but it still makes me want to put my fist through a wall, especially when you see what's really going on underneath. That's the good stuff, not the face(book) we put on.